I hope you guys are enjoying the rewrite and reshoots! Because this is taking me ages.
—Silver

At every blow of fate, the worst kind of misfortune is to have been happy.
—Boethius

I rejoined Ash on the settee, wondering if I'd just blown a lifelong friendship. I was near to tears. "She hates me now," I sniffed.

"She needed to hear it," Ash shrugged. "And she doesn't hate you, sure she doesn't. She's just upset at hearing out loud what she already knew. She'll be grand in a day or two. Just give her time to cool down."

"But I really upset her, I was so tactless. I could have said it in a nicer way," I said sadly.

"There is no nice way of saying something like that. She's lucky she's got you to look out for her." He sounded very sad now, too. "I only wish I'd had someone to give me a heads up when I needed it. I bet you do, too." Poor Ash. Apart from that time he told me she left him and Melissa, he never really spoke about his marriage break-up.

"I didn't encourage Johnny," I said. I needed him to know.

He stroked my hair and looked at me for a bit. "I know," he smiled.

"I would never be unfaithful to you, Ash," I said. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I nearly did, the words almost came out, but I tripped at the last hurdle. "You're very special to me," was the best I could manage. He pulled me closer.

"I love you too, Jasmine."

Ash was away the following week, Saffron was mad at me and refused to take any of my calls or answer the door to me and Dad was almost always out playing golf with his friends. I was lonely.

Not lonely enough to resort to hanging around with Candy though. I wasn't that desperate.

I thought I may as well visit the Faeries and give Jack back his precious bootlegs.

But when I arrived, I was greeted by the spectacle of Amber chasing Jack down the street and yelling at the top of her voice.

There was nothing else for it. They were both mad; totally bonkers.

Amber noticed me as she headed back to the house. "Ah! Jasmine! Come in, come in. Melissa's here." I walked into the living room.

"Howya, Jasmine," smiled Melissa. I'd spoken briefly to Melissa a few times, but not since Ash and I started dating. I hoped she was okay with it.

"So what brought you here, Jasmine?" asked Amber.

"My legs. Actually, I came to return Jack's CDs. I'll just leave them with you, shall I?"

"Yes, of course," she said absently, taking the box from me and putting it in the bin.

"Jasmine has some hot news for us, don't you, Jasmine?" teased Melissa, dashing to the bin and salvaging the boxset. "From Underground To The Moon!" she gasped. "Bags me this!"

"Oh yes?" asked Amber.

"Jasmine's in looooooooooove!" Melissa sang. "And guess who with?"

"I haven't a clue. Who?"

Melissa laughed. "My daddy! She's dating my daddy!"

"That's just like, such groovy news, Jasmine!" Amber smiled dreamily at me, as we strolled down to the poolside.

"Thanks," I smiled shyly. Well, at least Melissa seemed to be happy about it. We went outside and settled down by the pool.

"Hey, you two," gasped Amber. "Annalisa Chèng was modelling the new Dolke and Banana collection in last week's Fashion Drivel, did you see it?"

"Oh my God, yes!" cried Melissa.

Oh man, no, they were talking about Annalisa again. She was a famous supermodel who'd lived in Cloud Magna for a couple of years when she was a toddler and for some reason the town took great pride in that, as if she was one of ours and had made the town famous. I mean, Annalisa probably didn't even remember her time here; I'm sure she couldn't even point to Cloud Magna on a map. I couldn't understand it at all. I tuned out and watched the clouds while they nattered on.

After a while I saw Jack trying to sneak into the house. I followed him in. Finally, I thought, someone to talk to about interesting stuff. Like rugby, or cars. Preferably cars.

"I say — Jack!" I called.

"Ah damn," he turned to look at me. "Heya, Jazza."

I gasped. "Crumbs! Where's your hair?!"

"In this bag," he said sadly. "Amber said the pixies need my hair or they'll move to someone else's garden. I keep telling her, 'Amber, the pixies are not real. Those are mushrooms.' She's made them little houses and dining tables and everything." He shook his head. "Anyway! I've a bone to pick with you, Missy."

"Oh?" I said. "What?"

He got down on his knees and clasped his hands together. "Don't marry him, Jasmine, he only wants you for the money! My love for you is greater than his could ever be. Please don't do it," he choked.

I knew it. He really was mad. I'd read somewhere that artists are often insane. Jack certainly was. I wondered what was Amber's excuse.

"You can get up now," I laughed.

"You shoulda told me you were dating, Jazzykins," he grinned at me. "I kinda suspected you might be. You're a cute couple! I'll paint a portrait of youse two together or something."

"Thanks... oh yes, I came to give you back your Pink Floyd set."

"Cool, where is it?"

"I — " Indeed, where was it? "Oh yes, Melissa misappropriated it."

"WHAT?!" he hooted. "The lil pup, I'll kill her," and he dashed out the door.

Oh well, looked like I wasn't going to get to talk about cars after all. I sighed. I wished Ash was here.

"We're all mad here," I said to myself. "I'm mad, you're mad."

Time to go home.

I was just opening my front door when I heard someone call out to me from the side of my house. It was Melissa. "Hey... you won't tell Jack I'm here, sure you won't?" She frowned. "He caught me and got the CD back... I think he's mad at me. Can we go inside, Jasmine? I want to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, sure," I said. I felt a bit nervous. She seemed to be happy enough about me and Ash earlier... but you never knew. I had a strong fear that if Melissa objected, Ash would end it with me.

But I was worrying for nothing. "Jasmine, I want you to know, I'm totally cool about you and my da. I'm not, like, gonna get upset and think that you're trying to replace my ma or anything," she paused, scowling. "In fact, I'd like it if you replaced her, the evil hag. I hate her. Da told you what she did?"

I nodded.

"You won't tell anyone about that, sure you won't? I know you must be thinking what kind of a daughter am I, telling people my ma's dead, but I swear to you, I hate her for what she did to us, the way she hurt my da. When I remember the look on Da's face when he told me she'd gone... I wish she was dead, I really do."

I didn't think she meant it. That was her mother.

"Believe me, Jasmine, I mean it."

I believed her.

"I'm so glad you two found each other, Jasmine," she continued. "You know back in Ireland, we had a big family and he used to hang out with his brothers or the guys from the neighbouring farms. When we moved, I chose this town because no one knew us here, but my da's not like me."

Melissa fidgeted nervously. "Da's always been kind of shy, he's not good at making friends, but he says you're a good listener and very kind — I think you've shown him making friends isn't that scary. And now he's going out for coffee with Jack Faerie of all people, can you believe it? The first time he saw you, all he kept going on about was, 'Jasmine's so beautiful, but she's so unhappy!' It was absolute gas!" She doubled over with laughter. "Sorry. Anyway it'll be nice to have you in the family and it'd be great if we can get to know each other better."

I smiled. I thought so too.

"I've to head off for Sligo this evening for the wedding," she continued. "But when we're back we could all of us hang out sometime?'

"Yeah, that sounds nice," I smiled.

"Well, I've to get ready for my flight, I'll catch you later, Jasmine," she said, hugging me.

"Yeah, see you later."

I felt so relieved to have her on side. She seemed lovely.

Right, festivities over, back to more debugging.

I spent Thursday with Dad — I managed to intercept him before he went off for golf. He'd been playing golf a lot since Mum died. But on Friday I missed him, so it looked like I was on my own again.

I got a call from my boss that morning to tell me Conrail's software was ready to go to the beta testers. I cried with relief. Finally, finally! But now I had nothing to do.

I started to cry properly now. I felt so alone. I thought about my brother Liam. He'd be 25 now. We'd squabbled a lot, but we were mates, too. We shared a love of cars and motor racing. I'd promised I'd take him to a grand prix when he turned 16. We'd got very close when he was diagnosed with cancer. And then he was taken away from us. I missed him a lot.

It was harder to miss Mum, what with seeing her spectre all the time. Actually, now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen her for a while. Not since that day she wanted to watch her Midsomer Murders. I wanted to ask her if she ever saw Liam. I opened her jar and whispered in, "Mum? Are you there?" No answer.

She had a grave, a lovely one, with a cherry tree over it. I wondered why she stayed in the jar? I used to keep biscuits in that jar. Chocolate digestives. Not anymore. Then I remembered. She'd been holding it when she had the heart attack. Maybe that was why. I called to her again, but she wasn't home. I hoped she hadn't gone for good. I cried some more. I missed Ash. I missed Saffron.

I dried my face. I had to stop being such a sap. I knew what I'd do — I would go and see Saffron. It was school holidays, so maybe she'd be out. I didn't care. I'd wait outside her flat all day if I had to. She couldn't ignore me forever.

Just as I got up, someone rang the doorbell. It was Saffron, no less. I was so happy to see her.

"Oh, Jasmine, I'm so so sorry," she said, thrusting a bunch of sunflowers into my hands.

"No, I'm sorry, Saffron," I said, hugging her tightly. "I was out of line."

"Jasmine, you were right," she said, sitting down. "We've been all but over for a while. I've always known it, I just didn't want to admit it. We don't even want the same things in life. I want to get married and have a family. Johnny just likes to party." She looked at me sadly for a few moments. "He does this a lot, flirt with other women in front of me. I guess I'm just so used to it now and he knows I won't say anything."

I didn't know what to say.

Saffron was silent for a moment. "I don't want to give up on him, Jasmine. We've been together six years, that's a long time. And he can be so sweet, he knows me so well —"

I didn't doubt that.

"— and I'm not getting any younger. In three years I'll be thirty, Jasmine. Thirty! Everyone knows all the good blokes are gone by then."

"Ah, Saffron, that's silly, I'm the same age as you. And Ash — Ash is positively ancient."

"Yeah but you're both divorced—"

"Thanks for reminding me."

"—and anyway you're cool and clever and funny and I'm just a plain Jane," she sighed. "I mean, who'd want to marry a history teacher?"

"One — shut up, you're a total cutie. Two — you're smart and sweet and fun to be around. Three — you're a fiercely loyal mate. Four — being single is better than being with a loser who disrespects you."

"Yes, but—" Saffron tried to protest.

"You deserve better," I said firmly. I told her to stop talking nonsense, and why didn't we go out somewhere on this lovely evening?

"Great!" She enthused. "Anywhere free of teenagers."

"Cool," I grinned. "We'll just go and sort out an issue with the Milano brothers for Ash, then we'll hit the town."

"Milano brothers?" Croaked Saffron, as we set out. "They sound like the mafia or something."

"Oh no, they're great lads. They're renting Ash's old place. I've met them a few times. The younger one is helping Ash out at his side hustle lab thing."

"Sounds kinda dull," she said, as I knocked on the door.

I spoke to Joe Milano — it turned out there was an issue with the boiler — then headed back out and turned to see Saffron standing with her fist in her mouth and hopping about like she was going to wet herself. "What's up with you?!" I asked.

"Oh, Jasmine," she cried, grabbing my arms. "He's delicious. DELICIOUS!"

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Tell me all about him! What's he called? How old is he?" She asked.

"His name's Joe and he's young. Very young."

Her face was an expression of pure horror. "What, like, just left school?"

"No. Twenty five."

"Oh, that's not so bad then," she laughed. "Maybe a bit young for you, though. I forgot that you prefer the older man!"

"Why you asking anyway?"

"I'm going to ask him out of course," she said. "Has he a girlfriend?"

"Not that I know of... hang on! What about your precious Johnny?"

"Him?" she said dismissively. "He can get stuffed."

I bumped into someone new in Maidstone. She lived in one of the quiet areas near the big library. There was a "Let Agreed" sign outside her house.

She looked rather glamorous, like a Hollywood actress. Maybe she'd replace Annalisa Chèng as the town's new fave celeb.

An out-of-work Hollywood actress, I corrected when I got a closer look, one who'd fallen on hard times. I thought I'd try to have a chat with her, maybe cheer her up a bit. She looked like she could do with a friend.

"Hi," I smiled at her. "I'm Jasmine."

"You don't say," she snarled. Her accent was weak, but familiar. It reminded me of someone's. Whose was it?

"I do say." I replied.

She just glared at me. In fact, there was something about her in general that seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. Did I know her from TV or something? Maybe it would come to me later.

"Are you new to town? How are you finding it here?" I tried again.

"My fella's dumped me, my family hates me, my neighbours are trying to get me evicted. Yeah, life's just grand at the moment," and she went inside and slammed the door.

Well, get lost in that case, I thought. But then I felt bad. God knows, I was probably as bad as that when I first came back here.

I heard a woman's voice behind me. "I wouldn't bother trying to make friends with Asbo Barbie if I were you."

I turned to see who spoke.

"I'm Nafeesa, and I have the great pleasure of being Tina Neville's neighbour," the woman continued with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh, umm, I'm Jasmine," was all I could think to say.

"That woman is simply vile," she went on. "She plays her awful music at full volume late into the night and my poor husband has to go to work exhausted because of it. Sometimes she'll wander up and down the street punch drunk, yelling and singing, sometimes she'll be out drinking in her garden in the afternoon, sticking her head over the wall and harassing my children. I can't even let them play alone outside anymore. The sooner that woman is evicted the better."

"Oh," I said again.

"Well, I best get back inside," she sighed. "It was nice to meet you, Miss. See you later."

What a weird day it was turning out to be. I wanted to go to sleep.

But as I headed back home the events of the day were forgotten, for I saw something that made my heart leap with joy.

It was Ash! He was back early! I ran up to him and grabbed him. "Oh Ashley, I missed you!"

He laughed, trying to regain his balance.

"Oh, Ashley, I've missed you so much!"

He laughed. "Sure, wasn't I after missing you too? Couldn't wait till tomorrow, got a flight this morning. Come here till I give you another hug. Ah, Catnip, I'm never going away without you again."

I'd have gone mad if I had to spend another week without him. We stood on the porch cooing at each other like a pair of loved-up half-wits. We would probaby have stayed like that all day if we weren't interrupted by a yell.

"Oi, you hick! Get your yokel hands off my daughter, you dirty basket!"

Ash was so surprised he did just that. I groaned. Dad had positively disliked Ash from the day he gatecrashed Dad's little welcome committee, and hated him with a vengeance when he found out Ash had stayed over at my place when Mum died. I'd explained that Ash was on the couch, but Dad didn't want to hear it. And Ash didn't seem to want to get on with Dad either. Well, it was about time I put a stop to this.

"Dad, come inside, we'll all have lunch together," I said firmly.

But perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to force them to get on after all. Dad just glared at Ash throughout the meal, while Ash stared back, looking slightly amused, I must admit.

I sighed wearily. Looked like I was wasting my time with these two. When I'd told Dad I was dating Ash he wasn't at all happy, asking why I wanted to settle for so little, that I could do so much better than "that hick from the sticks."

But I guessed I could accept it. They'd have to get along sooner or later, and anyway, I was far too happy to care anymore. For the first time since I came back to Cloud Magna, I was truly content.

That summer was idyllic. Ash and I spent nearly all our free time together. We had such a connection, it was like there was a direct line between our souls. He seemed to know exactly what was going on in my head, something which even eluded me.

We hung out most evenings. On most Saturday nights, Melissa and Tony would come out to town with us. They were great, both of them. I adored them, I loved them as if they were my own family. I had finally found somewhere I belonged.

But they didn't come out with us every weekend. The problem was, Ash and I were still in the honeymoon period, and I think the poor kids found our lovey-doviness just a bit embarrassing.

It was strange that Ash and I got on so well, because, on the outside at least, we had very little in common. He was into classical and country music, saving the environment, wildlife gardening, growing veg and birdfeeding — things which I found quite boring and a bit, well, nerdy, I suppose — and I liked rock music and fast cars.

He was shy and reserved and liked cooking dinner for me. I liked meeting new people and partying till late. I was neurotic and fidgety and he was calm and uncomplicated. People would wonder what we saw in each other.

But I think it was because our wants were compatible. That is to say, he liked to look after me, and I liked to be looked after.

It was the way he made me feel — loved and cared for and special. No one had ever been able to make me feel the way he did. And the way he understood me; it was unbelievable, really.

Just small things, like times when I'd be ready to pull my hair out over a program that refused to co-operate, and he'd make me a cup of chamomile tea to soothe my nerves and massage my shoulders, while telling me computer-related jokes, which you could tell he'd spent ages looking up on the Internet ("What does Microsoft stand for? Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers. What does DOS stand for? Defective Operating System. Ha ha, Catnip, isn't that gas! By the way, what's an operating system?").

Things like that. Like some mornings I'd find that he'd managed to smuggle a whole home-made lemon meringue pie or chocolate gateau into my fridge sometime the previous evening. Or when I'd had one too many strawberry juices after a long night out, he'd get out of bed to collect me and take me home and never lecture me for it. And of course, his shoulder was always available when I needed one to cry on.

He was just perfect. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve someone so special.

Everyone seemed to be happy that summer. Jack's exhibition of pixie portraits somehow brought Annalisa Chèng to visit and the town lost its collective mind. Candy finally plucked up the courage to ask Corin out (after I had to practically do it for her) and Saffron even managed to bag shy Joe Milano. Even Mum made a reappearance and was a lot nicer, a lot more chilled out, a lot more like she was when she was alive (probably because I was always with Ash in the evenings, so she could watch her precious Midsomer Murders).

But I reckoned I was happiest of all. Happier than I'd been in a long time. Most likely happier than I'd been in all my life. I felt so safe and protected around Ash. I stopped feeling scared — well, still too scared to tell him I loved him — but I wasn't so frightened of life like I used to be.

I felt... well... comfortable. Comfortable enough to take off my protective armour and put it to one side, because I felt I didn't need it anymore. Ash was my armour now.

And it didn't occur to me, back in those languid, sunny days, that that was a very, very careless thing for me to do.

By mid August we were in the middle of a heatwave. I lay in bed, trying to sleep, but I was kept awake not only by the heat, but a strong feeling that I'd forgotten something, something important. I tossed and turned until the early hours and eventually admitted that I was wasting my time. I sat up and looked for something to do.

But nothing held any appeal to me. I was fed up of the piano, I was fed up of the telly, I was fed up of all my books. And then I figured out what I'd do.

"I'll go and borrow one of Ash's William books."

"But it's one in the morning!" Someone hissed. I jumped. Oh. It was just Mum.

"I won't wake him," I reassured her, pulling on some jeans and dragging a comb through my hair. "I have the key, I'll just cycle there, get the book and leave. He said I could borrow them any time I liked, he said most specifically I could borrow them any time I liked—"

And I dashed out the door.

Still in my nightdress.

Silly girl!

I let myself in quietly and settled down with a William book. But even reading about Violet Elizabeth threatening to "thcream and thcream and THCREAM until I'm thick — I can!" didn't take away that feeling that I was missing something. What was it?

Then I realised what it was.

I missed Ash.

I'll just go upstairs and look at him, I thought. It seems a bit silly to be in his house and not see him. So I'll just have a quick look, and then I'll go home.

I crept up the stairs and slowly opened his bedroom door.

And then without warning my right shin connected with something very big and very metal.

"Argh — !"

I'd just tripped over an exercise machine. Where the hell did that come from? I staggered to my feet and winced. My shins would be purple tomorrow, I thought bitterly. Ash and his blasted spending sprees.

I needed some vent for my feelings.

"Blank!" I whispered, kicking the machine. "Blank blank blank!"

I heard Ash stir. "Jasmine, is that you?" Damn. Now I'd woken him up.

"Yes," I replied, feeling rather foolish.

"What are you doing here at this time?"

"I — I couldn't sleep."

"Come on, so," he said, patting the bed. "You can stay here tonight."

I climbed into his bed and as we snuggled, I realised — I mean really realised — how much he meant to me. He was everything I wanted and exactly what I needed. He was caring and loving and honest and loyal and sweet and handsome and dependable and so adorably silly — and he was mine. I knew at that moment that I wouldn't give him up for the world.

"I love you, Ash," I whispered.

But he was already asleep.

Ash had already got breakfast ready by the time I woke up. "Ah, feckit, I was going to bring this up to you in bed," he smiled, holding a plate of pancakes.

"Did you manage to get the time off work?" He asked as I sat down. It was my birthday soon. Only two more years till the big 3 0.

"Yes."

"The full two weeks?"

"Yes!"

"I was thinking, maybe, it'd be nice if we could do a tour of Ireland? Take in everything?"

"Oh Ash, that'd be lovely! Yes, let's. Will I get to meet your family too?"

"Of course, if you want."

Ash was getting nervous and fidgety and I knew by now that that meant he was plucking up the courage to tell me something. I tried not to smile as I waited.

"Um, Jasmine?" Ash said eventually.

"Yes?"

Ash got something out his pocket. "I was going to give you this on your birthday, but since we'll be travelling through Ireland, I don't wanna be carrying around till the last few days. I thought I'd give it to you now," he said, blushing madly. He was so darned cute! I looked at the item. It was a silver bracelet.

"Oh, it's lovely, Ash," I said as he handed it to me. "Thank you so much!"

"It belonged to my grandma," Ash said, smiling at me. "My ma gave it to me when Lissa and I moved here. I want you to have it."

"Oh! Are you sure?" I gasped. "It's a family heirloom. Are you sure you want me to have it? I'll be so scared I'll lose it."

Ash nodded. "I know you'll look after it," he stroked my hand. "I trust you, Jasmine."

"I promise I'll take good care of it, Ash," I held his hand.

We sat in silence a while, twining our fingers together. I remembered something. "I've to go to Canterbury with Jack and Amber tonight," I sighed. "They want me to see some new band. Birthday treat. Please come with me, I don't think I can handle those two by myself."

"Ah, Jasmine, I'd love to, but I can't. I've to do some trials at the crack of dawn, and I need to be alert. I'd be too drowsy if I was out all night."

"I don't know why you don't just quit your side hustle, Ash," I said. "It's not like you need the money."

He shrugged. "I like what I'm doing. What I can't understand is why you don't quit your job, since you're always saying you hate it."

"My bills aren't going to pay themselves, Ashley," I poked his back playfully.

"Well, you wouldn't have to worry about bills if you lived here with me," Ash smiled shyly. "You'd be free to find something you enjoy. Maybe even finish that mechanic training you started when you were younger."

Wait a second. When we first got together, Ash had made a point of telling me that he was a bit old fashioned when it came to living together and the things that came with it. I looked at him. Either he was willing to break his rules for me, or...

"Ash," I said slowly. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Ash got all flustered. "Ah, no, not exactly. I mean — well — sort of. I mean I guess I'm asking if you'd like me to ask you to marry me."

I paused. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, I thought. I wouldn't mind waking up to him every morning. The intense rush of love I felt for him last night remained, but I needed to be sure. It was best to give it a bit more thought before I gave a definite answer.

"Yeah, maybe," I smiled.

"I love you, Jasmine."

I wasn't scared anymore. "I love you, too, Ashley."

I thought a lot about what Ash said, and about what it'd be like to be married to him. The more I thought about it, the more appealing it seemed.

I kept thinking about it even when Jack was trying to prompt my memories of a punk rock band I used to be the lead singer of in my uni days (I don't want to talk about it. No, really, we were dreadful).

"They had a really good name, Amber, it was great. What was it again, Jasmine?"

"Mozart Death House," I mumbled absently.

"Yeah that was it! Genius, Amber, absolute genius! Cos that's where he died!"

I wasn't really paying attention. I wanted to go home to Ash. I missed him. It didn't seem right to be away from him for so long. My feelings from this morning hadn't changed. I wanted him forever.

I made a decision. First thing tomorrow morning, I was going to tell him I was ready for him to propose.

Just as I'd decided this, the barman called out. "Is there a Jasmine Elemita here? Phone call for Jasmine Elemita!"

Huh? Who'd be calling me here?

I answered the phone.

"Jasmine? Is that you? Why's your mobile off? I've been trying to find you for ages." Melissa's voice.

I started to tremble. I felt faint. Something was wrong. I could tell from her voice. Something had happened to Ash. I felt sick.

"Jasmine, it's Da—"

I wanted to scream.

"There's been an accident, Jasmine—"

"Is — is he okay?" I choked.

"I don't know, Jasmine, I don't know!" She was crying now. "I'm on my way to Maidstone Hospital now. I'll meet you there." And she hung up.

Ash. My Ash. I couldn't breathe. My eyes went dim, my hearing became muffled. I couldn't feel the ground beneath me—

I can't breathe I can't breathe if I lose Ash I'll die—

I could dimly hear Amber and Jack calling after me. "Jasmine, what's happened? Wait for us, Jasmine!"

I staggered out into the night and flagged down a cab.

I couldn't believe it. Not Ash, I prayed. Please God, don't take him away from me, please, not Ash. I've already buried two, please don't let Ash be the third. If I lose him, I'll die—

I was stuck in traffic for ages. There was a pile up on the M2 and it was over an hour before I reached the hospital. The receptionist told me which ward Ash was in and I felt — only slightly — relieved. If he was in a ward, that meant he was still alive.

Melissa was waiting outside the door, sniffing. "Is he—? He isn't—?" I asked.

"He's okay, Jasmine."

I heaved a sigh of relief. I hadn't lost him, he was okay!

Melissa gave a watery smile, then it faltered. "Most of the injuries aren't too bad — bruises and scrapes. He's fractured his tibia, they're after setting it, he won't be able to walk for some time, but it should heal well enough—"

If he was okay, then why was she crying?

"Jasmine, there's something else," she said quietly.

"What? Tell me!"

"He got a blow to his head," she said quietly. I felt like my heart had stopped beating. I didn't want to hear what was coming next. I wanted to run away and hide till it was all better. "Jasmine, he didn't recognise me. He thinks I'm still a little girl, he thinks he's still married to my ma—"

I felt weak. If he thought he was still with his ex-wife, then—

I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it this isn't happening no no no no...

"Jasmine, he didn't recognise your name," she wept. "He doesn't know you at all."