Raindrops — Part Three

This is now the first half of what used to be Part Two.

—Silver

I went to see Saffron the next day to tell her the good news. Saffron and I had been best friends since before we could even talk. We'd lived next door to each other until I was 16, when I got a place at a sixth form in London, moved into a squat in Muswell Hill with 11 punk rockers, coloured my hair pink and lived a hedonistic life (mind you, I was quite tame compared to the punk rockers).

We went to uni together in London though, where I studied computer science and Saffron studied ancient history (which she claims she only passed by reading Horrible Histories the night before her exams).

Saffron's studio flat was... pink. Very pink. The combination of the pinkness and the confined space made me feel as if I was experiencing a very bad trip. And unfortunately I knew all about very bad trips from my days with the punk rockers.

When I revealed I was dating again, Saffron rejoiced like she was Detective of the Year.

"Don't tell me," she cried, jumping with excitement. "I know who it is! It's your farmer bloke, it's Ash Milton, isn't it? I knew it! I knew there was something going on with you two! The way you're always hanging out and always sit so close to each other! And there you were acting all innocent! 'Oh, we're just mates, Saffy!' Yeah, right!"

I laughed. "It really was innocent! We only became a couple yesterday. I didn't even realise I was falling for him."

"If you say so!" Saffron smiled. "I'm really happy for you, Jaz. Ash is a sweetie. You're so cute together."

"Oh, so I actually have your blessing this time, do I?" I laughed.

"Yes, why wouldn't you? Oh, cos of David, but Jasmine he was obviously bad for you. He was never going to be faithful to you, you could tell that just by looking at him."

Was it really so obvious? And was I really so stupid?

"And you know, Jasmine, you weren't entirely blameless either. You changed. You got so sucked in by all the wealth and fame. You let him trample all over you and any time you complained, all he had to do was buy you a necklace or an expensive dress or something and you'd shut up. And you completely forgot all your old friends."

"That's not true," I said, weakly. I felt I had to defend myself, but I knew she was right.

"Oh, really? So when was the last time you talked to those goths?"

"They weren't goths," I said sullenly. "They were punk rockers."

"Whatever they were, you owe them. You'd never have been able to live in London without their help. You even forgot me. You'd never call me or reply to my letters. Maybe once a month you'd condescend to take my call for about 30 seconds, before saying that you had to leave for some launch party or another."

"I'm sorry, Saffron." I felt very humbled.

"Oh well, you know what they say, pride comes before a fall. But you're older and wiser now... I hope. Anyway, Ash Milton! He's a sweetie, but he's kinda old, isn't he? Ain't he, like in his late forties?"

"No, Saffron," I laughed. "He just turned 38 last week."

"Wow, he must have been really young when Melissa was born. Isn't she 19? I was going to ask you if the age gap bothers you, but you've always preferred them on the older side, haven't you? He doesn't talk much though, does he?"

"Are you joking?" I nearly choked. "He doesn't ever stop!"

"Really? Hmm... he doesn't talk much even when he's over for the game seshes. So he talks a lot to you, huh? He must have it bad! And you, how bad do you have it?"

"Bad enough," I laughed, "but I'm not going to rush into anything this time."

"So! Tell me what happened! Did he take you to a fancy restaurant or what?"

"No. Even better: he bought a new house."

"Very funny, Jaz."

"No, I'm serious. You know that mock Tudor one up near Jack Faerie's. He named it," I couldn't help but blush, "Jasmine Manor."

"Get away! Really?"

"Yes! Although I'm not sure if he wasn't just teasing me with that."

"Wow! I knew he was well off, but THAT well off? You and your rich men. How'd he suddenly get so much money?"

That had actually been one of things I'd asked Ash after he'd shown me into the house. First I'd wondered when his tastes in decor had got so fancy.

"Haha, no, Melissa was in charge of decoration," he'd said. "Sure, what do I know about lemonade flooring and that yoke?"

Lemonade flooring. He was funny.

And then it didn't make sense. I'd found it a bit strange that he could afford a place in this part of town. "Hey, Ash. This house must have cost you a small fortune; how did you afford it?"

"Sure, amn't I worn out telling you about my latest project?" he'd grinned at me.

He probably was, but in fairness, he nerded out so hard that it was difficult for me to follow all his jargon about biology and ecosystems and whatnot. He got disorientated if I interrupted him with questions, so I'd just enjoy his enthusiasm while a stream of Latin names went right over my head.

"And finally I got it! The first 89% effective, organic, non-toxic blackspot treatment." What was that? Some kind of acne cream, I thought.

"And I own the patent," he'd smirked. "The money from the licensing deal alone paid for this house."

"Oh." Oh, indeed.

"Wa wa WOW!" Saffron screamed. "So he finally succeeded with that. I remember Tony telling me that one was driving him crazy. Last I heard he was about to give up. Bully for him."

Whoa. I felt ashamed that Saffron knew more about it than I did. But, dammit, I thought in my defence. I'm a programmer, not a biologist!

"And," I added. "He has all 38 William books. A lot of them are first editions, too."

"Well, I know now that you're made for each other."

"But it gets better!" I cried in delight. "After he showed me the books, he gave me the spare key and said that I could come and borrow them any time I liked."

"Eeeeeeeee!" Saffron squealed, jiggling on her seat. "You two are such a cute couple! You are totally one hundred per cent made for each other!"

"I like to think so," I said. "But with my track record, I don't know, I may even still be on the rebound."

"No, I don't think so, Jasmine. I think you've picked a good one this time. He's way too square to cheat on you — no offence, doll. He's a keeper for sure. Lucky cow, I've been trying to get that useless moron Johnny to marry me for the last two years! It's so good to see you happy again, Jaz."

"Thank you, Saffron. You know, I've never met your bloke, we should all go out for dinner some time. Anyways, I best be going, I should have finished coding that website on Friday. I'll catch you later okay."

"Okay, doll, see you later."

Mum paid me a visit that night. She'd usually show up two or three times a week. It was weird, because I'd been off the antidepressants for over a week now, but I'd still see her. All in all, it was best not to think about it.

"Midsomer Murders is on, change it over," she ordered.

"No, I'm watching this, leave me alone." Midsomer Murders was the stupidest programme ever. I mean, it's some poxy little village and yet at least one person gets murdered every week. How can there be anyone left alive? Why would anyone even want to live in a village like that? I could think of much safer places to live. Like the bottom of a volcano. Or the Mariana Trench.

I sat up and smiled. "To think, all this time he was mad about me, and I had no idea!"

"No idea, my eye."

I ignored her. "I thought he only spent so much time with me cos he had no friends apart from Melissa and Tony and Joe Milano. I mean Dad would tell me Ash had his eye on me, but I thought he was just being scornful and overprotective, you know? And to think all this time I was mad about Ash— "

"Smashing," said Mum drily.

"—and I didn't even realise it till that day he confessed his love!" I smiled widely. "I can't believe it! After all my bad luck, it's just miraculous! Don't you think so, Mum?"

But she was gone.

The next day it was back to breaking rocks on the chain gang — I had the wonderful task of debugging the new booking software for Conrail. I hated it. In fact I would have preferred the chain gang to this easily, any day.

"Please work, please work," I sobbed. Yes, it was so bad it was enough to reduce me to tears. But since when did it ever take much to do that, I hear you cry.

As I was just about to resort to getting down on my knees and pleading with the source code, someone started yelling in my garden. For God's sakes, I thought, I have got a doorbell.

I had a pretty good idea of who it was. It was—

"JAAAAAAAAAAAASMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!"

Jack Faerie.

Anything for a diversion, I thought, gleefully.

"JASMINE!! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, I CAN SEE YOU AT YOUR DESK! JAAAAASMIIIIINE!"

All right, I'm coming, keep your hair on.

Just as I suspected, he was flanked by a group of doe-eyed teenagers. He reminded me of the Pied Piper of Hamelin with all those kids.

He managed to stop them following him inside. "Hello, Jazzy Girl. I come bearing gifts," he smiled, holding a pack of Command strips and a framed print of my favourite car, a Lotus Elise.

"I remembered you loved cars," he smiled, ignoring my protests as he took down my Häkkinen poster. "I saw this and thought it might cheer you up a bit when you're working.

"And here's the bootleg album you wanted to borrow," he said after he hung the print on my wall. "Take care of it okay, it's the first present Amber ever gave me and it's really hard to find."

"Oh wow thanks! I'll guard it with my life," I promised, "and I'll have it back to you in a couple of days, okay?"

"Okie dokie. Well, I gotsa go now, Jazzykins — windows to wash, carpets to vacuum, kids to babysit." He sighed dramatically, then laughed. "See you later."

Just after I showed Jack out (he was immediately set upon by his group of sappy teens), I saw Ash outside my house talking to a lady I'd never seen before. I worried for a moment that it was his ex-wife come back, but then I saw her face and she looked far too young, even younger than Melissa; she looked like she'd barely finished her GCSEs.

And very sunny, I observed. Very summery. In fact, she looked even happier than Tony Oxford, and I didn't think that was even possible.

Being nosy (and oh-so-slightly suspicious, I admit) I went out to find out what was going on.

"Hey there, Catnip," Ash pecked my cheek. "I was just going to call for you. I bumped into Candy on the way here, she just moved into the house next door to you and she wanted to be introduced. Candy Summer, this is my girlfriend Jasmine Elemita."

Candy Summer, I thought. Perhaps there was something to be said for the power of suggestion.

"Hello, Jasmine, I'm so glad to meet you," she smiled shyly at me.

"Can I just have a quick word with Jasmine, Miss Candy, and then I'll leave you girls to it," Ash asked her.

"Yes, okay," she simpered.

Oh my holy aunt, I thought.

It turned out he had to go to Scotland for a couple of days to meet with the manufacturers of whatever it was he invented, the acne cream thing. And then he was invited to his brother's wife's sister's wedding in Sligo over the Easter break and did I want to come with him?

I was thrilled. And then I remembered Conrail and was very un-thrilled. "I'm sorry, Ashley, I can't. I'm way behind with fixing the software. My job's on the line if I don't get it done by the deadline. I'm really sorry."

"Ah, don't worry about it," he ruffled my hair. "We can go away together some other time." I felt bad; he sounded like he really wanted me to come. I was about to protest that maybe I could take a couple of days off and then just pull some all-nighters, but before I got the chance, he smiled at me and gave me a peck. "Right you are, I'll be off now. I'll catch you later, a chroí. Bye, Miss Candy!"

"Bye bye, Mr Milton," sang Candy. "Oh, Jasmine, I am so very glad that Mr Milton introduced us!" Candy chirped. "Come with me! I just want to show you my house first and then we can go to the park."

Candy was so excited to show me her room. "Do you like my room, Jasmine? My brother let me design it all by myself!"

I just stood there, bewildered.

"I just know we're going to be good friends, Jasmine. Isn't it so lucky that we're neighbours? When I first saw you I thought, I just have to be her friend. You know what I mean? When you see someone and you just know that you'll like them. Anyway, I've got my GCSEs starting next month and I'm so nervous! What if I fail them all?! I'll be so gutted. I guess I'll have to become a nun and go into a convent."

I wanted to go home.

Just as Candy was showing me her entire collection of My Little Ponies, someone arrived and called out to her.

"My big brother Steve is home," Candy simpered as we went out to the hallway.

At first I thought there was something in his eye; he seemed to be twitching rather a bit. And then I realised. The idiot was checking me out.

"Well, hello there, gorgeous," he grinned at me. I couldn't believe his audacity. The cheek of him! He didn't even know me!

I gave him a look that made it clear to him that if he didn't want a very close-up view of my fist, he'd back off right now. He seemed to get the hint. "I'll catch ya later, babes." He winked, clicked his tongue and pointed and went to his room.

"Oh, don't mind him," giggled Candy. "He just got dumped."

Uhh... right.

"We can go to the park now!" she cried. "Come on, Jasmine!"

"Candy, I can't. I've got work to do," I protested.

"Just for an hour," Candy said. "I just want to check it out with someone else. I've never been before."

"Fine."

"Who do you reckon this is?" she asked, looking up at a statue.

"I really have no idea, Candy," I said. She was exhausting. I wanted to go home. "Why don't you look on the plaque?"

"Okay... what's this? Oh it's all algaed up... umm... N-E-L... it must be Nelson Mandela, lookit, he only has one arm."

"Nelson Mandela has the full complement of arms, I'm sure," I said wearily. "It's Admiral Nelson you're thinking of, the sailor."

"The one on the packet of fish fingers?"

Really, I hadn't the energy.

"Candy, I'm really behind with my work and I do need to get home," I said, wearily.

"Okay," Candy said sadly.

As we walked home, Candy gasped and gripped my arm. "Jasmine," she hissed, "do you know who that is?"

"No," I said, adding under my breath, "Do I care?"

"It's Corin Harris. He's in sixth form at my school and he's the DJ at the club just down the road from here. Oh, Jasmine, I think he's lovely. What should I do?"

"Ask him out?"

"But he might say no!"

"Well then don't ask him out," I snapped, losing my temper.

"But I like him so much," she wailed.

I was on the verge of tears. I tell you, I would rather have eaten my own head than have gone through this.

Crumbs, I couldn't stand her. She made me go back to her house because she insisted I looked tired (which was right: tired of her, that is) and that she'd make me a cup of tea before I got back to work.

As soon as she went into the kitchen to put on the kettle I made good my escape. Which was not very polite, but was preferable to throwing the kettle on her head. I just hoped she wouldn't come knocking on my door as soon as she found out I was gone.

Monday was a lot better. She was at school all day and I had the dinner with Saffron in the evening, so at least I'd be immune from Candy's attention. Ash came to see me in the morning; there was something he wanted to show me, he said.

"Got myself some wheels," he grinned. "It's only second-hand — well actually third-hand, I think — but I reckon you'll like it." I wondered what kind of vehicle he'd get. Probably a tractor. Or even better, a combine harvester.

"Let me see, then," I laughed.

When he opened the garage door I was so shocked by what I saw I almost forgot to breathe.

"A Lotus! Oh my God, a Lotus Elise!" I shrieked. I loved cars. More than I loved chocolate, and that was saying something. "Wow! An S2! This is an original 1.8 Rover K-Series. Oh wow. She's so beautiful..." I inspected her all over. She had a few dents and scratches and looked like she had seen better days, but hot damn she was beautiful. "Give us the keys," I laughed.

"No," he said firmly.

I was offended. "Ashley, I'm not going to steal your car. I only wanna take her for a spin."

"Sure, I don't care if you do, it's only a car—"

I gasped. How could anyone say an Elise was only a car?

"—but the thing is, it's actually not working. That's how I got it so cheap. I remembered you saying you missed getting your hands dirty at the garage when you were a teenager, so I thought maybe you'd like to work on this one a bit in your spare time. But only if you want. I'll pay for the parts and I can always get a mechanic to fix it up if—"

"Don't you freaking dare," I interrupted. "I'd love to work on her. Thank you, Ash! You really know what I like! This is going to be so much fun!" I looked around for the toolbox. "Hey, take off your dungarees and pass 'em here, I don't want to get my clothes dirty." I laughed.

He chuckled. "You'd look mighty fine in them, so you would. But no, if I let you look under the bonnet now, you'll be here all day getting covered in grease and making me all hot and bothered. And you're behind with your work and we've the dinner tonight with your wan. Let's wait till tomorrow, then you can have all the evening to get messy."

Back to more debugging that afternoon. I found it hard to concentrate. I kept thinking about Ash. He was perfect, I couldn't believe my luck. After all my bad luck with men, I thought I'd never be able to fall in love again.

I loved Ash.

I'd just never told him. He must have known, he must have; we were a committed couple after all. But I just couldn't say it. There was something; I was scared. I felt that if I admitted it, then he'd be taken away from me. It had been the pattern so far — my brother, Liam; my first love, Kris; my mum; and David — well I didn't love him anymore, but still.

I was so busy worrying that I didn't even remember the dinner until seven. I was meant to arrive by half past. Eeks!

I ran a brush through my hair, threw on the only ironed dress I had and dashed out. I had to run from the bus stop to the restaurant. I was worried for a moment that they wouldn't admit me. Panting and sweaty was not a good look. Well, I suppose it depends on the situation. It wasn't a good look here anyway.

"Sorry I'm late, guys," I smiled.

"Wow, Jasmine, you're gorgeous."

I was just about to blush and simper, "Thank you, Ash," when I thought, since when did Ash start speaking with a home counties accent?

It wasn't Ash who said it at all.

It was Saffron's bloke, Johnny. I started to feel very uncomfortable. "Uh... thanks," I stammered nervously, feeling mortified, and sat down.

Calm down, I thought. He's just being polite, and you're just being neurotic as usual.

But as the evening progressed, I felt even more uncomfortable around him. He seemed to completely ignore Saffron. He kept asking me questions, anything, and I didn't like it. Everytime I tried to involve Ash and Saffron in the conversation he'd steer it back to me.

"Ash has a lovely car, don't you, Ashley?" I tried.

"Yes," said Johnny, looking into my eyes meaningfully. "Lovely."

I almost choked on my strawberry cheesecake.

I really didn't think anyone would be so brazen as to hit on another woman right in front of his girlfriend — because let's face it, even David was never that bad. So I just put it down to paranoia.

But when he leaned over to me and breathed into my ear, "Jasmine — that's such a seductive name. So exotic, so sensual," it was finally time to read the writing on the wall.

I'd had enough.

And I was scared that soon his feet might start wandering around under the table. Or even worse, his hands. No wonder Jack called him Johnny Bravo. The name suited perfectly.

I had to put a stop to this. I didn't want to make a scene though, especially not in front of Saffron. I had to find another way.

I accidentally on purpose dropped my fork and as I reached under the table to get it, I looked for Ash's shin and gave it a good kick.

"YOW!"

I sat up and stared straight into Ash's eyes. Would he understand?

"Uhh... if we're all finished," he said. "I'll go and sort out the bill."

Thank God, I thought. Thank God.

"That was a lovely meal, wasn't it?" smiled Saffron. She looked completely unfazed. I wondered had I been overreacting?

"Let's hit the town," cried Johnny. Oh no, I thought, no. No way. Not with you, anyway.

"Nah, I'm tired, I'll head home," said Ash.

"I'll come with you," I said quickly.

"Saffron?" Johnny asked.

"Ummm... not tonight," said Saffron quitely. "Ash, would you mind giving me a lift home?"

The three of us got a cab together and Saffron came back with us to Ash's place. We sat down for a girly chat. Ash sat quietly reading the paper.

"So what did you think of Johnny?" she asked.

"Umm..." I hesitated too long.

"You didn't like him," she sounded upset.

"I — " I wasn't sure if I should say, but I blurted out anyway, "I kind of felt uncomfortable around him, he seemed a bit of a... well, a flirt."

Saffron looked like she was going to cry. "You've got it wrong, Jaz. He's just friendly."

"Perhaps I was just imagining it then. Perhaps I did get it wrong," I said kindly.

"You weren't imagining it," Ash said. "He was flirting with you."

"No one asked you," Saffron said sulkily.

Ash ignored that. "I could hardly believe it, Jasmine. He was hitting on you right in front of me. Right in front of you," to Saffron. "He's completely shameless."

I'd never seen Ash angry before. Saffron just looked tearful. And something else struck me as strange. If he knew Johnny was coming on to me, why did he wait till now before saying anything?

"And it's not the first time is it?" Ash continued.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's done this before, with the girlfriend of your man, what's he called? You know, the crazy one, the painter, right in his own front garden."

"Yeah," I turned accusingly to Saffron. "Jack told me about that! What a jerk! Cheating on you with your friend's girl!"

"Technically he wasn't cheating on me," she faltered. "I'd told him the day before I never wanted to see him again —"

"Well, he didn't waste much time, did he?" I scoffed.

I quickly covered my mouth. What had I just said? This was my best friend's life we were talking about, not some soap opera. I couldn't believe I'd been so tactless.

"Oh, Saffy, I'm so sorry," I cried, reaching out to hug her, but she pushed me away and stood up.

"I might head home now," she whispered. Me and my big mouth. I could have kicked myself.

"I'll walk you home, Saffron," I tried again, following her to the door.

"Please don't," she said, and walked out.